Tuesday, January 03, 2006
Skanky college girls and the tainted legacy of Brent Musburger
I spent a portion of my (observed) New Year’s Day holiday afternoon watching the Fiesta Bowl - a decision that I have come to regret deeply. As a known sports fan, the fact that I chose to watch football on a day off from work should not seem out of the ordinary, but I am very discriminatory in choosing which sports receive my attention, and as such I rarely chose to watch college football. I demand a high level of quality, and cannot be bothered by anything less than the greatest athletes in the world. It is for this reason that I generally regard college athletics as inferior and therefore unsuitable for viewing. That anyone chooses to watch a bunch of 20-year-old Speech Comm majors chuck three pointers or run the option, rather than behold the greatness of athletes such as Lebron James or Peyton Manning completely baffles me. Despite these prejudices, I tuned in to see Notre Dame take on Ohio State in a match that held no personal significance, and little football significance for that matter. At times, it seemed that the only issue of any importance in the game was whether a skanky college girl could cheer for her brother or her boyfriend.
Had I had the foresight to watch the game with the volume turned down, it wouldn’t seem like I had pissed away several hours of my life nor would I now hold a grudge against Brent Musburger, who served as the game’s commentator. Musburger has been in sports broadcasting for many years, and is generally well respected by those in the know. According to Wikipedia, he is considered to be the second greatest college football announcer ever. Some quick Googling produced the fact that Musburger is considered by Notre Dame fans to be virulently against their school, which I didn’t notice during the broadcast. What I couldn’t help but notice was Musburger’s countless mentions of the fact that the sister of Notre Dame quarterback Brady Quinn is dating Ohio State Linebacker A.J. Hawk. It would have been sufficient to mention this fact once and in passing, but Musburger was steadfast in dropping random tidbits of information about this most uninteresting triumvirate. The first reference came several minutes into the game and was accompanied by a quick shot of said girl sitting amongst Notre Dame fans. From this point on, any big play by either Quinn or Hawk apparently warranted a cut away to the stands to see her reaction. A play in which Hawk sacked Quinn (and I’m talking about football here), which occurred with increasing frequency as the game progressed, brought about extended coverage of the skanky Quinn and inspired a stream of pseudo-celebrity mindbarf from Musburger. The girl in question, by the way, looks like the alternate universe Ashlee Simpson that never made it beyond a guest spot on a paternity test episode of Jerry Springer, and was shown most of the time either draped over a friend like a cheap skank coat or looking at her cell phone. By the second half of the game, she had accumulated airtime at least equal to her brother, who was the goddamned quarterback!
It’s impossible to say whether Musburger’s insistence on plugging the female Quinn was due to his own infatuation or because someone behind the scenes of ABC’s broadcast thought this subplot deserved such an asinine level of attention. Regardless, I’d like to give Musburger or whoever is ultimately responsible a good shot in the chops. (In defense of the game’s color man, who’s name I do not know, he exhibited no interest whatsoever in the Hawk-Quinn affair). The end result is that a nearly four hour-long broadcast was rendered almost entirely unwatchable.
At the risk of betraying my own neurotic tendencies, I’ll admit that I was screaming at Musburger to stop mentioning the wannabe Lindsay Lohan by the time Hawk took down Quinn in the third quarter. Yes, I do realize that he couldn’t hear me.
Until yesterday afternoon, I had been largely ambivalent toward Brent Musburger, and placed him somewhere between Marv Albert and Bob Costas in the sports commentator pantheon. Now, after the skanky Quinn debacle, Musburger will join the likes of Bill Walton and Johnny “Red” Kerr, both of whom require judicious use of the mute button.
Had I had the foresight to watch the game with the volume turned down, it wouldn’t seem like I had pissed away several hours of my life nor would I now hold a grudge against Brent Musburger, who served as the game’s commentator. Musburger has been in sports broadcasting for many years, and is generally well respected by those in the know. According to Wikipedia, he is considered to be the second greatest college football announcer ever. Some quick Googling produced the fact that Musburger is considered by Notre Dame fans to be virulently against their school, which I didn’t notice during the broadcast. What I couldn’t help but notice was Musburger’s countless mentions of the fact that the sister of Notre Dame quarterback Brady Quinn is dating Ohio State Linebacker A.J. Hawk. It would have been sufficient to mention this fact once and in passing, but Musburger was steadfast in dropping random tidbits of information about this most uninteresting triumvirate. The first reference came several minutes into the game and was accompanied by a quick shot of said girl sitting amongst Notre Dame fans. From this point on, any big play by either Quinn or Hawk apparently warranted a cut away to the stands to see her reaction. A play in which Hawk sacked Quinn (and I’m talking about football here), which occurred with increasing frequency as the game progressed, brought about extended coverage of the skanky Quinn and inspired a stream of pseudo-celebrity mindbarf from Musburger. The girl in question, by the way, looks like the alternate universe Ashlee Simpson that never made it beyond a guest spot on a paternity test episode of Jerry Springer, and was shown most of the time either draped over a friend like a cheap skank coat or looking at her cell phone. By the second half of the game, she had accumulated airtime at least equal to her brother, who was the goddamned quarterback!
It’s impossible to say whether Musburger’s insistence on plugging the female Quinn was due to his own infatuation or because someone behind the scenes of ABC’s broadcast thought this subplot deserved such an asinine level of attention. Regardless, I’d like to give Musburger or whoever is ultimately responsible a good shot in the chops. (In defense of the game’s color man, who’s name I do not know, he exhibited no interest whatsoever in the Hawk-Quinn affair). The end result is that a nearly four hour-long broadcast was rendered almost entirely unwatchable.
At the risk of betraying my own neurotic tendencies, I’ll admit that I was screaming at Musburger to stop mentioning the wannabe Lindsay Lohan by the time Hawk took down Quinn in the third quarter. Yes, I do realize that he couldn’t hear me.
Until yesterday afternoon, I had been largely ambivalent toward Brent Musburger, and placed him somewhere between Marv Albert and Bob Costas in the sports commentator pantheon. Now, after the skanky Quinn debacle, Musburger will join the likes of Bill Walton and Johnny “Red” Kerr, both of whom require judicious use of the mute button.
# posted by workplex @ 21:09 
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